One of the things I love about living at the North Carolina coast is all the inhabited islands. Living here is even better when you have a boat. Now I always grew up around water and boats and learning how to ski, but I've only personally owed a boat for about 3 years. One would think that in those 3 years I might would have learned to dock the boat properly, but I haven't. I blame my husband. He usually will dock it and even when I'm driving I get scared to dock it at the marina and turn it over to him. This is his fault simply because he lets me get out of docking by doing it for me. Docking for me brings on tremendous stress, enough to keep me from going out on the boat. If all I had to do was pull the boat in, I would be fine. It's the requirement to back the boat in to the dock when returning to the marine that gives me heart palpitations. Needless to say, I never ever take the boat out by myself for exactly this reason. If I can't dock I at least want someone in the boat to help me try to drag the boat close enough to the dock to call it quits. So today I enlisted my Mom, Stacey and Sally to join me out on the boat.
It was a beautiful day on the intercoastal as we puttered over to the Fish House for some lunch, docking at the Bridge Tender Marina. Now here I can dock. All I have to do is pull straight forward and that I can handle! So far, no stress. It was windy out on the water, which kept it pleasantly warm but not too hot. After lunch we decided to boat on over to Masonboro Island for some beach time. We anchored onto shore easily enough in my flat bottomed skiff and unloaded the boat. Apparently, today was senior skip day for every 18 year old boy and girl from around the area was hauled up at Masonboro in Daddy's big ass boat. Must be nice to be spoiled rich! I think their parents must either be crazy or absent for there is no way I would allow my teenager to take my expensive boat with 20 of their closest friends out to Masonboro. There were all of 3 boats and one jetski and probably 30 or more kids. Exactly how did they all get here? I felt old sitting there in my one piece bathing suit reading my novel. That's okay. I'd rather be me than young and dumb again. We watched as the boys got together a game of football that instead of playing on the sandy part of the beach decided to play on the shell laden part. I guess they thought it wasn't manly football unless it hurt a little when you got tackled.
The girls and I finally decided to go looking for sea shells. I found a few very large ones that I took with me but every time I saw a broken shell I thought about that book, "My Beautiful Broken Shell." The one my aunt gave me shortly after Nolan's death. As the book says, I thought of Nolan every time I saw one of those imperfect shells and I also thought of what I've been through. I'm still broken. I always will be broken. Some days I hold the broken pieces together better than other days. Today I'm holding them together pretty well, despite the turmoil I am feeling rising inside of me. I return to work in just over a week. While work will probably be good for me, I'm torn about having to leave home. I'm also very troubled about my friend's baby shower on Sunday. While I want to show my support and happiness for her by attending, I still don't know if I will be brave enough to do so.
On days I can't submerse myself into two or three Zumba classes, I find it is good to find other things to occupy my time. Even when some of them remind me of Nolan. I think about Nolan every second of every day anyway, but at least today made me think about the good parts about Nolan. The beach reminds me of all the joy and plans we had concerning Nolan. The beach and the ocean are very zen places for me. They calm my mind and renew my spirit and give me a feeling of peace. When I am here I know everything will be alright one day and for the duration of time spent here I don't worry about anything - not even docking.
It was a beautiful day on the intercoastal as we puttered over to the Fish House for some lunch, docking at the Bridge Tender Marina. Now here I can dock. All I have to do is pull straight forward and that I can handle! So far, no stress. It was windy out on the water, which kept it pleasantly warm but not too hot. After lunch we decided to boat on over to Masonboro Island for some beach time. We anchored onto shore easily enough in my flat bottomed skiff and unloaded the boat. Apparently, today was senior skip day for every 18 year old boy and girl from around the area was hauled up at Masonboro in Daddy's big ass boat. Must be nice to be spoiled rich! I think their parents must either be crazy or absent for there is no way I would allow my teenager to take my expensive boat with 20 of their closest friends out to Masonboro. There were all of 3 boats and one jetski and probably 30 or more kids. Exactly how did they all get here? I felt old sitting there in my one piece bathing suit reading my novel. That's okay. I'd rather be me than young and dumb again. We watched as the boys got together a game of football that instead of playing on the sandy part of the beach decided to play on the shell laden part. I guess they thought it wasn't manly football unless it hurt a little when you got tackled.
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