Stages

I figured blogging might would be difficult when I went to work. Mostly due to the lack of time to find to actually write, but also that I wouldn't have much to write that would be of any interest to me or anyone else. After all, am I really supposed to be able to find something beautiful every day that I'm at work? I work for 13 hours a day minimum. When am I going to have time to see anything outside of work. Sure when we are filming on location it is easy to see something beautiful and thought provoking, but when we are stuck inside on a sound stage for 13 hours a day it becomes very difficult. But there were a couple of things that happened today to really make me smile.

The first was the realization that I now have my very own parking spot at the sound stages. That's right, a reserved parking spot just for me. Of course, first thing this morning when I pulled up someone was parked in it, but in all fairness the parking sign was put up after they had already parked. I was, however, able to park in it when I return from going to Target at lunch. It's amazing the little things that bring such joy these days. If people only knew what little things they could do to make us smile these days, they probably wouldn't be walking around us tiptoeing as if we are highly breakable. Believe it or not, I actually like talking about Nolan. Or I should say, I like when people ask me about him already knowing what happened. I do not like it when someone comes up to me that doesn't know what happened. I don't like pretending that everything is okay and that I didn't really do anything on the hiatus. But I do, because the alternative of telling these people that my son died is not something I want to do in the middle of work.

So today when our actress Claire set down and asked me about what happened, it felt good. It was nice to tell someone there what had happened and she seemed to want to know it all. Not very many people from work have asked me what happened. Nobody has asked his name or what he looked like. Now some of these people are indeed mine or Marshall's friends on Facebook so some of them have probably seen the pictures and know what he looked like but most have not. I have his picture on my phone and I probably look at it a hundred times a day. He was so beautiful and the picture just looks like he's sleeping. By looking at it you would never know there was anything wrong with him. You definitely wouldn't know he was dead. I know Claire probably had her own personal reasons for her curiosity at my situation, but nevertheless it was nice to tell someone about it. Plenty of people have asked me how I am and how I'm doing with work and all, but she was the first here to ask me about what happened. To ask me why he died. She was shocked to learn that we had no forewarning that anything was wrong and we had no answers to why he died.

All in all, I realized today that maybe I could find something worthwhile in the days spent doing stage work. I certainly had quite a few good laughs today, mostly during rehearsals. And it was the first day with our new director Lodge. He seems nice enough and he certainly is trying to do a good job, but physically he's a very awkward character. He reminds me of a teenage boy who just experienced a growth spurt and has yet figured out how to make his body respond the way he wants it to. You know what I'm talking about. They walk around quite awkwardly as if their feet are delayed in responding to their brains. That's how Lodge lumbers around the stages. He's quite a tall man too which adds to the physical awkwardness of his stature. Nevertheless, it was an enjoyable day on most all accounts. So I guess there is something beautiful about the stages.