Skyscrapers

Today was my first day filming in uptown Charlotte this season. In Wilmington we have no skyscrapers, so to stand in the middle of downtown Charlotte and look up at the enormous buildings always reminds me of just how small we really are in the grand scheme of things. It's also a reminder to the triumphs we can accomplish when we set our minds to it. I look at the skyscrapers that reach upwards towards the stars and I'm reminded of that saying, "reach for the stars." Skyscrapers are a reminder to me that we as human beings should "reach for the stars," and not let anything be beyond our grasp.

For months now I've been solely focused on just making it through that any goals I had of future desires had been put on hold. It has been mentioned to me by numerous people that I should pursue my writing career now more than ever. Even people on Facebook who only read my status blurbs have sent me messages saying how profound my blurbs have been to them and how they think my writing will affect thousands of people one day. Its endearing to hear that something you feel passionate about, something that helps you work out your pain, could actually be helping someone else through something as well.

I don't know if I will ever become a successful writer. All I know is that I love it and right now more than ever it helps me. Sometimes I sit and cry and cry as I write. Other times, it brings a smile to my face. But every time when I've typed the last word and I hit the publish button, I always feel relieved. It's as if by writing down the pains of my day the just go away for the time being. Sure sometimes new pains take their place, but for a moment I get a reprieve from them. My husband, who is one of those people that finds comfort through my blog, thinks I need to write a book; a book based on this blog. Maybe he's right. There certainly are plenty of people out there going through the same thing we are. About 1 in every 160 births in the US are still. That's 26,000 stillbirths a year, 68 a day in the US alone. Another 600,000 women a year experience miscarriages. These statistics still amaze me. I don't think I will ever get over how common stillbirths really are. I don't know if I will ever find the words to reach the masses, but if I could reach even a fraction of the parents who experience a stillbirth and help them to heal then it would be worth it. For now, I will continue to write in my blog and hope that whoever needs to get something out of it is able to come across it and read it. Who knows, maybe somewhere in the future when I've reached a good point in my healing process I will be able to successfully find the words for a book that will reach the parents out there who have experienced a loss as great as ours.