Muffins & Midday Naps

After a very restless night due to high winds and my own anxieties, I was pretty tired when I woke up at 7:30am. Since Zumba wasn't until 9:15am I just laid in bed for a bit listening to the wind still whipping outside. Although it had died down quite a bit from last night, it was still pretty windy outside. JoJo figured out I was awake so she jumped into bed to snuggle with me a bit. I knew the wind kept her up last night too for every time I went to the bathroom she was laying there wide awake. I finally rolled out of bed and got ready to go Zumba. Karson announced again this morning that this class would be the only one she would be still teaching at the Y after next week. One of the girls from our class, Wendy, who also subs for Karson is moving to Houston this weekend so today was her last Zumba class at the Y. Trista, who befriended me some time ago when she discovered we both shared the experience of stillbirth, had made muffins so we could all celebrate Wendy. Unfortunately, Wendy had to leave class early today so Karson stopped the music and so everyone could say good bye and send her well wishes. After class we had a little party with Trista's muffins without Wendy. Karson and Trista asked me all about how the baby was doing and if we had a name yet. Trista knew I was coming up on the time in my pregnancy where we lost Nolan so she told me if I needed anything or just wanted someone to talk with to just give her a call. Trista lost her first baby, a daughter at full term - 40 weeks. She too never found out why. That was a couple of years ago and she has yet to try to have another baby. From my chats with her I'm not sure that she ever will. She dealt with her daughter's death a lot differently than I dealt with Nolan's and Tifni dealt with Brody's. She sort of became an introvert and never wanted to talk about her daughter to people, especially to people who had not experienced the same loss. She told me that she didn't try to lose weight after the pregnancy and in fact just gained more weight for the next year. It wasn't until a year later when she started going to Zumba that she started trying to shed the weight of her pregnancy.

When I got home I watched some TV, did some baby kick counts, heated up some Indochine leftovers for lunch and then ended up falling asleep. I only woke up when Marshall called during his lunch hour to say hello. I even went back to sleep after I hung up with him. When I finally woke up at 4pm, I realized I was still in my exercise clothes so I went and took a shower and put my PJs on. I had no plans to go anywhere else today and besides it was windy and cold outside. Why would I go out there if I didn't have to? I realized that tomorrow I am 33 weeks pregnant. I found out I had lost Nolan when I was 33 weeks and 6 days and I had him 24 hours later. This week is going to be a very stressful and anxiety ridden one. I feel like if I can get through this week I just might sleep a little easier at night. Not that something can't go wrong after this but getting through this milestone in my pregnancy I feel is a huge one.