Day 23: Tattoos/Jewelry

Day 23: Tattoos/Jewelry
Oct 23, 2013

Since Nolan's death, I've acquired several pieces of jewelry meant as a token of remembrance for him. The first such piece was a sterling silver key pendant my mother gave me while I was in the hospital with him. A note accompanied it that said it was to serve as a reminder to me that Nolan held the key to my heart and always would. The second piece of jewelry I bought for myself. It was a bracelet that I had custom made. On the outside it said, "Until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand." On the inside was inscribed Nolan's name and birthdate. A small angel wing charm and an aquamarine jewel (Nolan's birthstone) hung from the side of the bracelet. I wore this bracelet every day for the next 6+ months. I also received a bracelet from my friends while in the hospital that had Nolan's name on it and on the inside it read, "I held an angel." They passed out these silicone bracelets to everyone that had been at the hospital with us.

 My cousins also gave me a sterling bracelet that read "Endless love." But none of the jewelry proved to have as much significance as the one pendant I had made for myself and have worn every day since I received it in the mail. I took Nolan's footprint that the nurses had given me and sent it off to a jeweler to have him imprint it into a pendant for me along with Nolan's initials. When the jeweler found out it was to serve as a momento of my dead son, he sent me two pendants. I put that pendant on my necklace along with my key and wore the two together for the next year. On mother's day this year, Marshall and Ronan gave me another key to add to my necklace to represent Ronan. While Nolan's key is void of any color other than the sterling silver and bears a simple cross in the middle, Ronan's key is vibrant with jewels. It's a beautiful representation of the differences in my two boys. I usually wear the three pendants together, but I always wear Nolan's footprint. Since Ronan was born he has held on to the pendant whenever I'm nursing him. Now that he is more inquisitive, he is constantly grabbing at it and holding it and now even trying to chew on it. I may one day stop wearing the footprint around my neck, but I will always hold it dear and keep it close to me.