Most people know Oct as breast cancer awareness month thanks to the pink accessories that adorn our NFL teams, but as a mother of an angel I would like to remind you that it is also Pregnancy, Infant & Child Loss awareness month. I invite all of our family and friends to join us at 7pm your time on Oct 15 in lighting a candle in memory of our sweet baby boy Nolan and all other children that were taken long before their light could really shine and create a wave of light to remember these tiny souls. As a way of raising awareness of this very important subject, I've decided to participate in a 30 day project for the month of October in which I post a photograph each day and write about Nolan and my experiences in losing him. Since the birth of my second son, Ronan, my posts have been few and far between but my hope is this 30 day project will revitalize this blog as my journey in healing has still only just begun.
Day 1: Sunrise
Oct 1, 2013
Bessemer City, NC
Driving home from an all night shoot on the television show Homeland, I snapped this picture. Frustrated from working all night, exhausted and wanting to just go to sleep, when I arrived home I was greeted with my son Ronan's wide eyed grin smiling up at me from his bassinet. All the stress of my day floated away as I smiled back and him and picked him up. I was instantly no longer tired and just wanted to enjoy every moment I had with Ronan. I cuddled him and we both eventually drifted peacefully off to sleep. Prior to Ronan's birth, sleep was not restful for me. Nolan's death continued to plague my dreams. Since Ronan's birth my best sleep comes when I have him snuggled close up to me. There's a calmness that comes over me when I hold Ronan in my arms. He is the melatonin to my insomnia, my sunshine breaking through the storm.
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