Life's a Beach

The healing properties of the sea are numerous and well documented throughout history. I for one always feel stronger and more refreshed after a day of beach. Perhaps it is the combination of the healing power of the salt water, the calming nature of the rhythmic waves and the immune boosting power of the sunrays. Today I spent the afternoon at the beach with my Mom. As we soaked in the sun and listened to the waves crashing on the beach, I was at peace. My Mom made the comment that she didn't know what she would do if she lived so far away from the beach that she could just hop in the car and drive there. I know the feeling. If I hadn't been able to feel the sand beneath my toes and chill of the ocean water on my feet, I don't know if I would have been able to come to a place of peace with Nolan's passing as quickly as I did. There's something very zen about the beach.

The beach has also come to represent everything concerning Nolan. It started out as just the theme for Nolan's nursery. Then it became the place where Marshall was going to surf with his little buddy. Then there were the wishing shells at Nolan's baby shower that then became the shells for his memorial service. It seemed only fitting when we picked the angelic white seashell for Nolan's urn and the beach for his memorial service. Then I received a book in the mail from my Aunt Linda. A book to help me through the healing process - My Beautiful Broken Shell. I will never go to the beach again and not see Nolan in the shells and in the waves and feel his presence in the wind. Nolan is everywhere there and so it is healing for me to be there. I dread having to go to Charlotte for work for five months, not because of the work but because I will be so far away from the beach and Nolan. For me going to the beach will always be healing as it will forever be the place I feel closest to Nolan.