Something Beautiful: Home Again

It was a much longer drive home today from Charleston than it was driving to Charleston. Knowing I was leaving my husband for four days was harder and knowing I was heading home to yet another doctor's appointment didn't help. Now I was going to have to tell yet another doctor what had happened. All because they were worried that what was gestational diabetes while I was pregnant had now turned into full blown diabetes because I failed my blood glucose test last week. My fingers were crossed that they were wrong. Wasn't losing my baby enough. Did I really have to have diabetes on top of it all? Needless to say, my thoughts were a jumbled mess as I drove the 3 1/2 hours back home. I was so lost in my thoughts that I nearly missed my turn at one point. Still it was nice when I crossed the bridge and was back in Wilmington. My thoughts were put a bit at rest when I actually went to the doctor and he said he was very doubtful I had diabetes but would schedule me for retesting anyway just to be sure.

So I decided to do a bit of retail therapy and coerced Stacey into joining me. We killed some time at the mall and then made it to our friend Kathy's for dinner. It was a relaxing girls' evening full of great food, good wine, and fantastic conversation. Kathy is probably one of the most serene people I know. She is full of great wisdom and exudes warmth and compassion. I don't spend a lot of time with her but the time I do spend with her I leave feeling at peace.

I went home afterwards and found two wonderful packages awaiting me in the mailbox. One was a deed to another star registered in Nolan's name. So now there are 2 stars registered in the sky in honor of Nolan - one from our friend Melissa, the other our friend Julie. Such a remarkable gift and thoughtful way to honor and remember Nolan forever. We plan to frame them both and hang them up in our house somewhere. We had thought at one time to hang them in the nursery so Nolan could look down and watch over and guide his future brother or sister. Instead, I think we are going to paint a star on the wall and as our future child gets older tell them that the star is their big brother Nolan watching over them and protecting them.

The other package was a piece of jewelry I had ordered myself. My friend Jessica who also lost her son Nicholas at 18 weeks had sent me a link to some remembrance jewelry on Etsy by Michaela Hagenow. Jessica had planned on ordering herself a piece to remember Nicholas by and thought I might would like something to remember Nolan by. I loved Michaela's pieces and the fact that she herself had lost her son shortly after he was born and so she made all the pieces in memory of her son. I chose a bangle bracelet but had her do a custom order for me with the inscription "And Until We Meet Again, May God Hold You in the Palm of His Hand" hand stamped on the front of the bracelet. On the back was Nolan's name and birthdate and attached to the bracelet was a heart charm with angel wings and Nolan's birthstone. It was a beautiful bracelet and I was very pleased to have received it. I immediately put it on and it was perfect. It gave me some peace to wear it that night and would serve as a constant reminder to me that Nolan was okay now as God was holding him close until I could one day be reunited with him.