Nolan Eason

At 1:03AM on Friday, March 30, 2012 my first child was born - a son. We named him Nolan Eason. 21" long, 5lb 3oz. He was beautiful and perfect in every way, except that he was stillborn. As we searched for answers to his untimely death, we also searched for comfort. This blog was created as a way of working through my sorrow by trying to find something beautiful in the world each day. Hopefully, along the way it will help others to heal as well.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Get Your Sleep

I got up this morning and went and met Susan at Zumba. I could have very easily just slept in so I was glad I had Susan to motivate me to get up. Her friend Rosa also came along and they both really enjoyed the class. Afterwards, I went and picked up Marshall and we met Susan at Starbuck's for some coffee. She asked us some questions about the birthday party celebration they were going to throw for the baby. We told her we didn't know how to word it but we wanted it made clear that presents weren't necessary that we just really want people to come see the baby and help us celebrate what a miracle it is that he made it into this world. I know some people will still bring presents as I know some people have bought things already and are just waiting until the baby is born to give them to us and that's fine. We just didn't want people to feel obligated to bring anything because that's not what the party is about.

After coffee, Marshall and I went home and he showered while I napped. I eventually got up and showered too and we went to meet Susan and Stacey at the movies for a matinee. We decided to go see Identity Thief. The movie was pretty funny but I didn't love it. It will definitely not be one I own. Although the popcorn and frozen cherry Fanta tied me over, I was pretty hungry after the movie was over. Neither Marshall nor I had had any lunch, so we decided to stop in at the Towne Grill beside the theater for an early dinner. Marshall got a burger and I had fish and chips. It was good as always but neither of us still had any energy even after eating so we just headed home to chill out for the rest of the evening. Tifni started texting me when I got home and asking me about book suggestions. So I ventured into the office to look at my shelves and I found a book I had gotten for Marshall the Christmas we were pregnant with Nolan. It's a baby book that you fill in with all the whens and hows, but it is rather unusual in that it is called the "Inappropriate Baby Book." It's things like your first poop was on this day and was this color and who had to change that diaper. I pulled it out and showed Marshall, reminding him that he was going to have to start filling it out soon.

I fell asleep pretty early on the couch. Marshall claimed it was because I hadn't slept all week and I was relaxed with him being home so I was finally able to sleep. Maybe he's right. I certainly have not had much sleep this week so I was glad to finally get some. When I woke up Marshall was dozing off on the couch and it was only 10pm. We both got up and headed towards the bed to watch a movie and fall asleep. I know people keep saying, "get your sleep while you can" but that's harder for me to do these days than people really realize. If it's not my anxieties getting the best of me, its my back aching or the baby kicking me or the fact that I have to pee every hour. Yep sleep is not easy to come by these days so I think I've just resigned myself to the fact that this is going to be my life for the next few years or at least until the kid decides to sleep more than 6 hours at a time.







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