Candy Shopping

I read some more of 50 Shades Darker this morning as I drank my coffee. I had borrowed the book from my friend Susan, so eventually I have to give it back to her. Besides, mindless entertainment is good sometimes. I've tried reading a lot of things since Nolan's death and this appears about the only thing I could muster through with any type of comprehension. I had to read a lot of scripts for Homeland this season but I found myself retaining the information just long enough to film the episode and then I quickly forget about it. That's very unlike me as I usually remember everything, especially everything I read.

We then met our friend Sally for a long overdue lunch and frozen yogurt date. It was good to see her as I haven't seen her in months. She had been so busy finishing up school and we were out of town so much during the filming of Homeland that our paths had been missing each other for quite some time. She did take care of JoJo for us for a few days while we were in New York and we had brought her back a little gift so it was nice to finally be able to give it to her. We had an enjoyable couple of hours with her and even ventured into Fizzy's Candy Store on our walk down to the frozen yogurt shop. Susan's birthday is tomorrow and she gets the coveted bowl for her birthday. Since I had it last it was our job to refill the bowl with goodies for Susan. The candy shop proved to be a successful venture as we found all kinds of interesting things to get for the bowl. We found some other outrageous things that we decided was just too much for the bowl. After all, I do like Susan and I don't think giving her candy made with real insects is the way to go.

After lunch we ran a few errands to the bank and Home Depot. For days now I've been meaning to get a new pot to replant my hibiscus bush in and keep forgetting. I blame baby brain. I seem to be more and more forgetful these days. I finally did remember today and obtained all the items I needed at our venture to Home Depot. Now hopefully within the next few days we will see some improvement in our sad little bush.

When we got home and I finished planting the hibiscus I opened up Facebook to see I had a message from a guy I used to work with. He was apologizing if the message was inappropriate but one of his neighbors had just lost their baby on Christmas Day. Their baby was due on Jan 31st. They too had a stillborn baby. He was asking me for advice as he confessed he didn't know what to say to me when it happened and he still doesn't know what to say to them now. Every time I hear of another couple going through this painful loss, I am just overcome with how this can even still happen and how so few people know this is a possibility. Until it happened to us, we were completely oblivious that this could even be a reality. All the baby books you read refuse to mention the harsh reality of stillbirth. I replied back to the message with the best advice I could give him by simply telling him what meant the most to us in the days following Nolan's death. It didn't matter to us that people didn't know what to say to us. How would they? I didn't know what to say to us. What was important was that people reached out and told us how sorry they were and to just show us that they cared. I don't think either Marshall or I will ever forget those people that chose not to reach out to either of us in the days following Nolan's death. If Nolan had been five years old when he died, they wouldn't have thought twice about sending us a card or saying something to us so why remain silent when our unborn baby dies? A baby that was only weeks away from being born. I don't know if he will listen to any of my advice, but I hope so and I hope that he shares some of my advice with his neighbors. Maybe it will help them, maybe it won't. But maybe just knowing they aren't the only people in this world dealing with this loss will help them to reach out and seek help by way of stillbirth groups or websites. I am still learning every day about new websites and groups for parents dealing with this loss.