Happy random day off in the middle of the week! Yes, it's July 4th and so we have the day off from work. Great. A random day off in the middle of the work week. What are we supposed to do with that? It's not like any of us can go home or do much of anything for that matter. Thankfully, my husband came up here last night. So after dinner with our nephew and his friend, we came home and hung out at the apartment with the dogs. I was exhausted after my emotionally draining day and really just wanted to sleep it off in the hopes that waking up to a new day would make yesterday's pain go away. I have to say, it did for the most part. No more crying. No more heartache. No more thinking about Claire's baby. But always thinking about mine. I would have been that mom that dressed her kid up for holidays. After all, you can only really get away with doing that while they are little. It's like dogs. Only really small dogs look cute wearing outfits. That doesn't keep me from putting things on my dogs, I just never send them out in public all dressed up.
Having no real plans for the July 4th holiday, Marshall and I had a slow start to the morning. We decided to take a stroll down the road to Starbucks to start the day off right with some coffee. Along the way we found a cool gateway and stopped to have some instagram fun in it. On our way back, Marshall commented as we passed a man with his son that he can't help thinking about Nolan when he sees a dad with his son. Yeah, I know. Every little boy makes me think of Nolan. Marshall said he thinks about how right now he should be hanging out with Nolan and bringing him by the set to visit me. Marshall was so looking forward to carrying the little guy around in a Bjorn strapped to his chest like Zack Galifianakis in
The Hangover. I was looking forward to seeing him do it. This would have been Nolan's first July 1st. First fireworks.
Eventually, Marshall and I made some plans for the day. We decided to grab some lunch with my friend Kathy, her husband Patrick and their two boys, Caleb and Eli. Marshall had not met any of them before. Although the wait at Cowfish was long, the food and company was enjoyable. I was so impressed with how well Caleb behaved. It was a very long visit and he tolerated it really well. It was good to see them and to know we can still hang out with our friends that have kids without ending up in tears by the end of the visit. Since we had lunch right by the mall, we figured why not do a little shopping while we were at it. We ended up going for another Starbucks and just sort of walking around, not really buying anything. I did try something on in Lululemon and while I didn't end up getting the workout pants, I loved the sticky note I found in the dressing room. Stuck in the corner of the mirror was a note that read, "Keep smiling. It makes people wonder what you're up to." I took it as advice for me. Especially, after yesterday. Smile and nobody will ever know what's going on inside you. You know, when this is all said and done I think I just might make a splendid actress. After all, I am just putting on a front for the world to see so nobody really sees how damaged I really am now.
After shopping, we settled on seeing a movie -
Brave. We forewent any traditional July 4th plans - no fireworks, no grilling out, no pool time. Holidays - even the most uneventful ones - are just difficult. I'm sure the worst of all will be Christmas and then of course Nolan's birthday, but at least we will muster through them together. For now, we get to come home to our 4 legged, furry babies who give us so much unconditional love. I really don't know what we would do without them sometimes. They have certainly been instrumental in my healing and I think Marshall will find that being home with them will help him so much too. They are great company and always make you smile throughout the day. I think they live by the sticky note saying - they smile so we don't ever really know what they are up to. It keeps us guessing and keeps them out of trouble.
Happy random day off in the middle of the week! Yes, it's July 4th and so we have the day off from work. Great. A random day off in the middle of the work week. What are we supposed to do with that? It's not like any of us can go home or do much of anything for that matter. Thankfully, my husband came up here last night. So after dinner with our nephew and his friend, we came home and hung out at the apartment with the dogs. I was exhausted after my emotionally draining day and really just wanted to sleep it off in the hopes that waking up to a new day would make yesterday's pain go away. I have to say, it did for the most part. No more crying. No more heartache. No more thinking about Claire's baby. But always thinking about mine. I would have been that mom that dressed her kid up for holidays. After all, you can only really get away with doing that while they are little. It's like dogs. Only really small dogs look cute wearing outfits. That doesn't keep me from putting things on my dogs, I just never send them out in public all dressed up.
Having no real plans for the July 4th holiday, Marshall and I had a slow start to the morning. We decided to take a stroll down the road to Starbucks to start the day off right with some coffee. Along the way we found a cool gateway and stopped to have some instagram fun in it. On our way back, Marshall commented as we passed a man with his son that he can't help thinking about Nolan when he sees a dad with his son. Yeah, I know. Every little boy makes me think of Nolan. Marshall said he thinks about how right now he should be hanging out with Nolan and bringing him by the set to visit me. Marshall was so looking forward to carrying the little guy around in a Bjorn strapped to his chest like Zack Galifianakis in The Hangover. I was looking forward to seeing him do it. This would have been Nolan's first July 1st. First fireworks.
Eventually, Marshall and I made some plans for the day. We decided to grab some lunch with my friend Kathy, her husband Patrick and their two boys, Caleb and Eli. Marshall had not met any of them before. Although the wait at Cowfish was long, the food and company was enjoyable. I was so impressed with how well Caleb behaved. It was a very long visit and he tolerated it really well. It was good to see them and to know we can still hang out with our friends that have kids without ending up in tears by the end of the visit. Since we had lunch right by the mall, we figured why not do a little shopping while we were at it. We ended up going for another Starbucks and just sort of walking around, not really buying anything. I did try something on in Lululemon and while I didn't end up getting the workout pants, I loved the sticky note I found in the dressing room. Stuck in the corner of the mirror was a note that read, "Keep smiling. It makes people wonder what you're up to." I took it as advice for me. Especially, after yesterday. Smile and nobody will ever know what's going on inside you. You know, when this is all said and done I think I just might make a splendid actress. After all, I am just putting on a front for the world to see so nobody really sees how damaged I really am now.
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