Guys seem to have the most trouble finding the words to tell Marshall and I how sorry they are for our loss. I've seen countless men struggle to say something to me and instead just end up hugging me tightly and walking away. Some walk away teary eyed. Other's walk away before any emotion can be traced on their face. Still some say nothing at all. Pretending almost as if they know nothing about our tragedy. I can always tell the ones that are the most deeply hurt by our loss. Like Johnny V. The first time I saw him when I returned to Homeland, he didn't hesitate to come up to me. He hugged me fiercely then pulled away and started to say something, but choked on the words instead. So, he shook his head and hugged me again and walked away saddened by the encounter. Perhaps it was because some time had passed, or perhaps it was because Marshall is a guy, but Johnny V was finally able to find the words when Marshall saw him last week. He told Marshall he was deeply saddened and affected by our loss. He also admitted that despite his best efforts, he just couldn't find the words to speak to me. Marshall told him it wasn't about find the right words. We both knew he cared.
Today, whether it was meant that way or not, I felt like another guy showed me he cared. Nelson, our Director of Photography, came up to me first thing this morning and handed me a little brown jewelry box and told me he had gotten me something. Inside was a beautiful vintage micro mosaic bead bracelet. I've seen the things on Etsy and Ebay for a pretty good penny. I'm told by my more trend savvy friends that they are all the fad right now. Who knew? Fad or no fad, it's beautiful. But more over, it was very thoughtful. Since Nolan's passing I received a message here or there from Nelson on Facebook about how sorry he was for our loss and he told me again when he saw me in person. But that's just what people say. People that don't even know you say that. Plenty of people have said those same words to me time and time again in the past few months. To me, this gift really showed me that he did care and think about me. Who knows, maybe it was his girlfriend's idea. Maybe not. It doesn't really matter to me. And it doesn't matter that it had nothing to do with Nolan at all. What matters is that it showed me that I wasn't just another coworker to him. He did actually care what I thought and he did actually care that I knew. Otherwise, why bother. There was no occasion to give me the gift. None other than he thought enough about me at the time to purchase it.
Later in the day I found out that Nelson had purchased a bracelet for one other female on our crew - Kim, our 2nd AD. Kim had seen the bracelet Nelson had purchased himself weeks ago and knew all about the bracelets. (Apparently she is in the know). In fact, she was the one who informed him all about them and about their worth. Later as Kim noticed I had one too and wanted to compare the colors and styles in them, Kim noticed that mine was a thicker wider bracelet with more mosaic beads. Kim joked as only Kim the New Yorker could, "Yours is bigger. He must like you more." I doubt Nelson likes me any more or less than Kim, but he definitely made me smile with the simple and kind act of a little unexpected gift.
Guys seem to have the most trouble finding the words to tell Marshall and I how sorry they are for our loss. I've seen countless men struggle to say something to me and instead just end up hugging me tightly and walking away. Some walk away teary eyed. Other's walk away before any emotion can be traced on their face. Still some say nothing at all. Pretending almost as if they know nothing about our tragedy. I can always tell the ones that are the most deeply hurt by our loss. Like Johnny V. The first time I saw him when I returned to Homeland, he didn't hesitate to come up to me. He hugged me fiercely then pulled away and started to say something, but choked on the words instead. So, he shook his head and hugged me again and walked away saddened by the encounter. Perhaps it was because some time had passed, or perhaps it was because Marshall is a guy, but Johnny V was finally able to find the words when Marshall saw him last week. He told Marshall he was deeply saddened and affected by our loss. He also admitted that despite his best efforts, he just couldn't find the words to speak to me. Marshall told him it wasn't about find the right words. We both knew he cared.
Later in the day I found out that Nelson had purchased a bracelet for one other female on our crew - Kim, our 2nd AD. Kim had seen the bracelet Nelson had purchased himself weeks ago and knew all about the bracelets. (Apparently she is in the know). In fact, she was the one who informed him all about them and about their worth. Later as Kim noticed I had one too and wanted to compare the colors and styles in them, Kim noticed that mine was a thicker wider bracelet with more mosaic beads. Kim joked as only Kim the New Yorker could, "Yours is bigger. He must like you more." I doubt Nelson likes me any more or less than Kim, but he definitely made me smile with the simple and kind act of a little unexpected gift.
No comments:
Post a Comment