After spending the day unmotivated to leave the house, I finally noticed the date on my phone - April 30th. It's been one month since I gave birth to my son Nolan. A month in which everything seems a blur still. If Nolan would have been born when we last heard his heart beating at the doctor's office, he would be 5 weeks old today and alive. It's heartbreaking to think there might have been a way to save him, a way for him to still be here. But even all the advances medicine has made has not been able to save a baby from dying in the womb unexpectedly. If he had been out and had problems, they probably could have saved him.
I did manage to make it outside long enough to get the mail and I saw that our flower beds had bloomed overnight. Deep burgundy blooms popped up to remind me there is something beautiful for me to see every day, even if I don't leave my house.
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