I Am HOPE

This past February 14 was my mother's 7 year mark for surviving breast cancer. Today I was able to go to the opening ceremonies at the Relay For Life and watch my mother and all the other survivors out there take the opening lap to start the relay. It gives me hope that if all these people can endure such pain and suffering and be here today laughing and smiling and happy to be alive, than I too can endure this heartache I am feeling. One day I too will be here laughing and smiling and happy that while my son might not be alive, I am. I think there was a point in the hospital when my fever spiked to 103.7 and I was pretty out of it that my husband worried that he might lose me too. Days later he said to me: "I would much rather have not lost Nolan at all, but if I had to choose him or you - I would choose him. If you are still here, we can make another baby but we can't make another you." So today was a day of celebration in seeing my Mom healthy, myself healthy, and I even had a visit by my Aunt Jo who also battled breast cancer and won the fight. I think the beauty of today was the lesson it taught me in HOPE. Hope for happiness, health, and a future. If my Mom, my Aunt Jo, my sister-in-law Kriszta and all the rest of the survivors I saw tonight could battle such a crippling disease as cancer and come out alive and well then I surely will survive this. To think of my Mom when she told me she had breast cancer and how scared she was and then to see her tonight smiling and happy that she beat it made me smile. Any strength I have demonstrated throughout this hardship is absolutely strength I have gained from my mom.