The Hospital

Today my Mom and Marshall went back to the site of Nolan's death - the Betty Cameron Women's and Children's Hospital. They went to meet Tina and Jamie's baby Harper Faye. I knew they both were planning on going today and I am so proud of both of them. I know it must have been extremely difficult for both of them to go back there today. Afterwards, Marshall said he felt a bunch of mixed feelings being there. He also said he didn't touch or hold Harper. I'm not surprised. Marshall decided when Nolan was born that he wouldn't hold another infant until he could hold his own. Nolan was the first newborn baby Marshall had ever held and he wanted his next memory of holding a baby to be a happy one of holding his own healthy baby.

Marshall did snap a couple of pictures of Harper and of Mom holding Harper and texted them to me while I was at work. I thought upon seeing a better close up picture of Harper that she was no where near as pretty as Nolan was. I don't know if it was just because he was mine or because he was such a perfect little angel, but Nolan was the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. Later when I spoke more in depth with Marshall about his trip to see Harper, he said nearly the same thing. He too found Nolan so much more beautiful. Not to say that Harper isn't a cute baby and won't be a cute little girl - I'm sure she will - but Nolan would have been an amazingly beautiful little boy. In all reality, he probably would have been too perfect. I imagined he would have broken a lot of hearts with his good looks and if his personality was anything like his Daddy's the girls would have been fighting over him. I wonder if we ever have another son if he will look anything like Nolan. In a lot of ways, I hope not but then again he had a lot of his Daddy in him so I imagine any boy we might have will probably look a lot like Marshall. I guess only time will tell and perhaps in another 10 weeks or so we will know if we are having another boy or not. At this point, as long as we have a healthy, living baby come the end of March I could care less whether it is a boy or a girl.