Halted Hiatus

Today is the last day of my hiatus. I packed up the car this morning and got everything ready to go. Before I left, Marshall and I went and grabbed lunch at Surfhouse. It was a beautiful day so we sat outside and enjoyed the weather. I almost wish it had been rainy or cold or something. It would have made it a lot easier to leave it wasn't such a nice day. I ran into another fellow crew member that was also leaving for Charlotte later this afternoon.

After lunch I headed out for Charlotte. As I watched Wilmington grow smaller and smaller in my rear view mirror, I grew sadder and sadder. It's hard leaving and heading back to work after being home for 2 weeks with my husband and dogs. My hope is that one day I won't have to leave my house for work. I want a job where I can stay in town and work and only leave town occasionally or for fun. I don't know if that will ever happen but with a baby on the way it makes me want it even more. I want to be able to work my baby to sleep every night in the recliner in our nursery. I want our baby to feel like our house is its home, not just a place we visit sometimes in between working out of town.

When I got into Charlotte, I stopped by the office to do some prep work. I said my hellos and quickly retreated back to my apartment, grabbing dinner on the way. I finished up some prep work back at the apartment and then tried to settle in for the night. It's hard to sleep in the apartment the first night back. It feels so quiet and lonely. Fortunately, Marshall and the dogs are heading up here tomorrow. I can't wait to see them! I miss them terribly already!

Brunch Blues

Tomorrow I have to head back to Charlotte and back to work. Today was my last chance to see anyone before I left so Marshall and I went and had lunch with my Dad at Boca Bay. Probably my favorite brunch place it was as good as always. We spent a good while there eating and talking. Afterwards, it was time for me to face reality and start doing laundry and packing to head back to work. I even sat down and did some prep work for the next episode that starts this week. It sucked having to prepare to go back and made me sad to leave. Fortunately, Marshall will be coming up on Wednesday so I won't have to be alone in Charlotte too long by myself.

I did spend a good bit of time this afternoon hanging out with my dogs and husband outside in our gazebo. The weather was so nice and the laundry was going so it was a perfect opportunity to take advantage of our wonderful gazebo. I think the dogs rather enjoyed us hanging out there as they didn't feel like they were missing anything by staying outside without us.

The Odd Life

Spent another beautiful day today at the beach. Marshall surfed and I tanned and read a book. Mostly I just enjoyed the fresh salt air and cool breeze. I dipped my toes in the surf and looked for shells. There is always something so refreshing and exfoliating about the beach. It was a relaxing day just hanging out with my husband.

This evening we went on date night - dinner and movie. We had both wanted to see The Odd Life of Timothy Green so that was the movie of choice tonight. I have to admit, I cried. It was perhaps an odd movie for us to chose to go see based on the subject matter and their inability to have a child hit home with both of us. Despite that, it was a good movie and I would like to see it again sometime down the road when Nolan's death isn't quite so fresh. I think the movie might have a different effect on me when I'm in a different mindset than I currently am.

A Photo is Worth a Thousand Words

It took me five months to do it, but today I finally looked at the pictures of Nolan the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep photographer took at the hospital. Marshall hadn't wanted to look at them so I hadn't been anxious to break them out either. I had thought we would look at them together, but I was finally ready and Marshall wasn't.


So, I sat back in my office, popped the CD in the computer and downloaded all the pictures onto the computer. I cried as I looked at all of them, one by one. There were pictures of our sweet boy all by himself, pictures of us holding him, and ones of him with his grandparents. The only one that had refused to hold him or have his picture taken with him had been Marshall's Dad. It was hard to look back on that day and remember that beautiful still face, but I think it was a necessary part of healing. I had been dreading looking at the pictures for so long thinking it would somehow taint the memory I had of Nolan, but it actually didn't at all. It just reaffirmed to me how sweet and beautiful he was. Far too beautiful for this earth.

Pampering

Today was an action packed day. In fact, I don't think I could have fit in any more excitement in the day. I definitely made the most of my last Thursday in Wilmington for awhile. I started the day out right by going to Zumba with Karson at Babs McDance. Nothing gets my day going quite like Zumba!

Afterwards, Marshall and I took my Dad out on the boat. He hadn't been out in awhile and Marshall thought my Dad was feeling a bit left out. I think my Dad thinks I do more with my Mom than I actually do. I love that my Dad is living in Wilmington now, but I almost feel like I have to babysit him more now that he does. He makes me feel bad when I don't do things with him. If I see anyone other Marshall a lot it would be the gals, not my Mom. My Mom works 5 days a week and rarely feels like doing anything after work. So my time spent with her is limited to weekends only or the occasional lunch date where she has only an hour to spare. My Dad, on the other hand, has too much time on his hands and not enough friends yet. I think things will be better with him once he can get his feet off the ground and starts making friends in Wilmington and stops relying on his friends in Fayetteville for his only fun. But today at least we spent some time with him. We took the boat out for a ride and went to the Fish Shack for lunch on the boat. We didn't stay out as long as we wanted as I had a massage appointment to get to.

I went for my first prenatal massage today and it was lovely. I now know why pregnant women rave about prenatal massages. There is so much going on with your body while you are pregnant - so many aches and pains and fatigue - that a good massage does wonders for you. I left there feeling rejuvenated and far less tight and achy. Today's pampering didn't stop there though. After I left my massage, I headed straight over to my hair stylist Laura's and had my hair cut. Even though I'm letting my hair grow out, I still enjoy getting my hair trimmed up and fixed. It always feels and looks so much better afterwards.

I had time after the hair cut to go home and hang out for a bit so Marshall and I went to the beach for an hour.  Marshall wanted to catch a few waves and I just sat on the beach and read. We left there and went straight to go meet Susan, Stacey and Brian for dinner at Flaming Amy's Bowl. It was a blast as always as they are some of the funniest people I know. We had a great time cutting up with them and after dinner we played around in Brian's new hybrid car.

Exhausted from my day of fun, I was happy to return to the house and hang out on the couch the rest of the night. Marshall and I turned on a movie and snuggled on the couch. It was a great way to end a fantastic day!

Sleeping In

This morning I indulged by sleeping in for as long as I wanted to without feeling the least bit guilty for it. Even once I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep, I just continued to lounge around in the bed for quite some time. It was so incredibly nice! The fatigue from pregnancy and work just finally got the best of me. It made me feel better when I sat up and noticed that both of my dogs were keeping me company laying beside my bed. It made me feel a little less lazy by having company sleeping in with me, even if the company was my dogs who sleep virtually all day anyway.

When I did finally decide to get up it was just in time to make it to Zumba again at Babs McDance. I feel like I'm on a roll now having gone to Zumba two days in a row. It certainly helped to get my day started off right and made me feel much more productive after having slept in late. Afterwards, I felt revived and ready to make the most of one of my last days at home for the hiatus. Good thing too because Marshall had made plans to meet Dino and his 10 month old son, Dylan at Barnes and Nobles for coffee.

B&N is our coffee spot. It's where we always meet Tina and Dino for coffee dates. We always joke when we go there that we will probably see Dino and 75% of the time we do. It's his home away from home. He can usually be found in the cafe drinking coffee and reading either a Christian philosophy book or parenting book. So I ran home and and showered and changed and off to B&N we went. Fortunately, it is only a few miles from our house so we didn't keep Dino and Dylan waiting long. Dylan was pretty good for most of the visit despite being a little stir crazy. I don't think Dino brought enough things to keep him occupied. When I held him, he was immediately intrigued by my necklace. Ever since I received it, I've been wearing Nolan's footprint and a silver key my Mom gave me in the hospital so that I would always remember that Nolan held the key to my heart.

Holding Dylan and watching him try his best to get his hands on the footprint pendant I remembered what Tifni had told me about hers. She said her youngest child Mallory always would rub the pendant whenever Tifni would hold her. Who knows Mallory might have rubbed it regardless of what it was, but maybe she rubbed it because it was her brother's footprint. I don't know why Dylan was so intrigued with Nolan's footprint pendant but I found it interesting that of all the jewelry I had on - earrings, rings, bracelet and necklace - that was the one thing he wanted desperately to get his hands on.

Even though he's only 10 months, I venture to say that Dylan is much bigger than most 10 months old. Not being an infant anymore, Marshall was willing to hold and play with him. Ever since Nolan passed away Marshall has been unwilling to hold or even touch an infant, regardless of who it is. He wouldn't hold Dylan until he was several months only and could sit up and hold his head up by himself. It was nice to see Marshall playing with and holding Dylan. Marshall still won't hold or touch Harper even though she's over a month old. Hopefully, once we have our baby in March and he holds our baby and takes the baby home his perception on infants will change. I think he just wants the next newborn he holds to be our own healthy baby.

After B&N, Marshall and I decided to head to Wrightsville Beach for some lunch. It wasn't a good boat day because it was too choppy from the storm coming in and it wasn't a great beach day due to the looming storm clouds. It was, however, a great day to sit out on Crystal Pier and eat lunch. So we headed down to The Oceanic for lunch and enjoyed the outdoors. We managed to make it through lunch on the pier before the rain started to fall. It was a wonderfully relaxing lunch as we watched the surfers try unsuccessfully to catch the storm surf. More than anything I was able to quench my craving of some pregnancy approved fish.

One of the things I've missed the most being in Charlotte is having time with my girl friends. When I'm home we all get together at least once a week. So tonight is the weekly get together to watch So You Think You Can Dance and eat some grub. I'm hosting it tonight, so Marshall and I had to go shopping to get some things to make dinner.

I decided on tater tot casserole because it is awesome and easy and everyone seems to like it. The original recipe I have calls for beef, but usually I make it with ground turkey instead. Tonight though Marshall decided he would rather have beef so we are changing it up. It ended up just being Susan and Shea tonight as Stacey was busy but it was still a great time. Even though this is definitely not the best season of SYTYCD it was still a fun evening with some great company. I sure am going to miss those girls when I go back to Charlotte.

11 Weeks - 2nd Ultrasound

This morning we had our 2nd ultrasound appointment, which is usually when most people have their first. I'm almost 11 weeks. I've been in anticipation of this appointment for weeks now. I felt as though if we got good news at this appointment then we could take a breath for a moment as we were probably in the clear of any first trimester worries. My first sigh of relief came when I saw the baby's image pop up on the TV mounted on the wall and saw the little flickering of the heartbeat. The baby's heartbeat was 158. Since we did genetic testing, they were also performing the ultrasound portion of the genetic testing today too. The ultrasound took longer because of this as the tech was trying to get a good look at everything about the baby. The spinal fluid looked good which was great news as abnormal spinal fluid can be a sign of Down's Syndrome or other chromosomal problems. All and all it was a great visit with some great news. I think it helped both Marshall and myself to see the baby and see that everything was going well so far. We know we have a long way to go, but each milestone needs to be celebrated. If I learned anything last time at all it was to cherish every moment and each and every time we get to see our baby because those moments are precious. Every kick and wiggle I will feel will be amazing and I will cherish each one as much as the next. In fact, I can't wait to start feeling the baby move so I can monitor the baby's activity myself.

I started the day on a high note with good news about the baby and I ended the night on a high note by going to Zumba class at Babs McDance with none other than my favorite instructor Karson. I'm really enjoying getting back into the swing of Zumba and I'm dreading heading back to work and not having the time for it. Between the long hours of work and the fatigue of pregnancy, I never have the time or energy for Zumba. But there's nothing better than just being able to come home and hang out on my own couch and play with my dogs. While this two week hiatus is great, it's also going to make it really hard to leave and go back to work at the end of it.