The Dark Knight Rises

After a couple of days of working really late, staying up even later, and not getting much sleep as a result, today ended up being a total wash for me. I was awakened at 10am by a phone call from my OB/GYN Doctor - Dr. McLean. She is the doctor that delivered Nolan and the only doctor I have seen since. Since I'm pregnant again I was anxious to talk to her and see how to proceed, but I had some difficulty trying to figure out how to leave her a message at the office on Friday. Fortunately, one text to my nurse friend Tifni and that was solved. Tifni's solution? She would text Dr. McLean herself and tell her to call me. And so Dr. McLean did. I told her the news and she responded that she had a feeling that was why I wanted to talk to her. I told her about the appointment I had already scheduled with her for late August, but Dr. McLean seemed as eager to know that everything was okay as I was. She thought it would be best if I had some labs done to test my HCG levels to see if I was having a normal pregnancy. This was music to my ears. I would give anything to know now that things are going well so far instead of finding out at week 10 that they aren't. So hopefully, by mid week Dr. McLean will have that all worked out so I can get the labs done here in Charlotte and sent to her in Wilmington. She is also calling the high risk maternal fetal medicine office to see if they want to see me in August as well. Then she did something I've never in my life had a doctor do - she gave me her cell phone number and told me to call or text her there if I had any questions or problems. Who does that? I don't know any doctors that do that. Not that I blame them. I'm sure they don't want to be bombarded by patients at home. Marshall always said Dr. McLean seemed more like a midwife to him in the way she handled patients. She was more caring and more emotionally invested than most doctors. At least in our situation. I've loved her ever since that day in the hospital, but today I have even more admiration and appreciation for her.

I figured since I was up now, I would call my husband and chat with him a bit. He sounded like he had a full day planned of boating and movies with Dino and his friend. We talked until he had to go meet the guys. Then I turned on the TV, cuddled up on the couch and fell sound asleep again. I awoke mid afternoon to talk to Marshall again for a bit only to go back to sleep. I knew when I woke up again at 6pm that I was in trouble. There was no way I was going to bed at a decent time tonight now. So, I got up, took a shower and went out shopping. On the way I texted a few friends to see if they wanted to catch a movie, but most were already occupied. Fortunately, one of my old college friends, Carl, was equally as bored and ready to get out of the house. So he agreed to meet me and go see The Dark Knight Rises. To kill some time I popped into Barnes and Nobles and of course I ended up leaving with a new book. This one, however, wasn't for me. Ever since Susan had turned me on to the Goodnight series informing me that there was a Goodnight book for every major place in the US, I always looked at bookstores to see if there was one for that town. While I didn't find a Goodnight Charlotte book (as it very well might not exist), I did find a Goodnight North Carolina book. So I bought it. Yes, it is a child's book, but I didn't think of it as buying a book for the baby. Instead, I thought of it as buying a collectors item. Some people collect mugs or spoons for everywhere they go. I've started buying children's books from every place I go. It started on my honeymoon in Hawaii where I bought two children's books on the Hawaiian legends and fairytales. Now every where I go I will first see if they have a Goodnight book and if they don't then I will look for another regional specific children's book.

While it normally takes me a few days to fully process a movie and decide if I really liked it or not, I will say a few initial thoughts about The Dark Knight Rises. First, while it was entertaining I did find it too long. It stalled in the middle for me and I think some of the fight sequences and the sequence with Bruce Wayne in prison were too long. We all knew he was going to make the climb. Did we really have to see him try and fail three times first? And it was so obvious that not only would he make the climb, but that he would make it without the robe that I found that part a bit cheesy and cliché. I like the guy that played Bane, but I found him hard to understand a few times. As my husband the sound guy will tell you, nobody notices good sound but everybody notices bad sound. Yes, Marshall you are correct. Bad sound just takes you out of it. If you can't understand what they are saying, you miss part of the story. I did not, however, realize that Matthew Modine had such a large role in the movie. I worked with him a couple of years ago here in Charlotte on a movie called The Trial. He's a great actor and a really nice person so it was fun to see him on screen in such a blockbuster film. All in all I had a good time, but it was by no means the best of the Dark Knight trilogy. I do feel sad that the opening weekend of this highly anticipated film was tainted by the senseless killing of those people in Colorado. How horrific. I can't even imagine someone doing something like that in a place where people go to escape from reality and be entertained. I heard that out of respect for the victims, the studios have agreed to withhold box office standings over the weekend - an unprecedented weekend in Hollywood.

"I believe movies are one of the great American art forms and the shared experience of watching a story unfold on screen is an important and joyful pastime. The movie theatre is my home, and the idea that someone would violate that innocent and hopeful place in such an unbearably savage way is devastating to me. Nothing any of us can say could ever adequately express our feelings for the innocent victims of this appalling crime, but our thoughts are with them and their families."

                                       -Christopher Nolan, director of The Dark Knight

Fraturday

Yet another Friday night that ends in a Fraturday. For those of you with normal hours that don't know what a Fraturday is its where you go to work on Friday and don't get off until sometime in the wee hours of Saturday thus making your Friday a Fraturday. The worst part about Fraturdays is that often following a Fraturday work day we have to then be back to work bright and early on Monday, thus eliminating any type of weekend we may have otherwise had. This weekend will be no exception to this rule. We worked until the wee hours of the morning Saturday and have to be back at work on Monday morning at 7am. Bye bye weekend. Unfortunately, this often becomes the life when working on a television series. If only the writers knew what they were doing to us I'm sure they would stop writing nighttime exterior scenes! Seriously, make all nighttime scenes inside so we can shoot them when it's daylight outside because nobody will ever know.

So, here we were again filming downtown with our kid actors. The only saving grace was that since they were both minors they had to be wrapped by 2am. Now this didn't mean we were done by 2 since we had photo doubles we could use once the kids were wrapped. Fortunately, we only had 2 more shots after Morgan and Timothy went home so we weren't there terribly late. Since the kids didn't work until it got dark, they had gone to see The Dark Knight Rises this afternoon and said it was awesome. Morgan informed me that I have to go see it this weekend so we can talk about it because she really, really liked it and wanted someone to talk to about it. Well, I just may do that. At least if I had to be working until 3am, I was working with one of my favorite actresses on the show. I really do love that kid. She is so talented, yet such a genuine person. We spent some time while they were setting up the shot to just chat and gossip about upcoming episodes and what she knows about her character for the upcoming episodes. She always knows I know more than she does so she tries to get me to spill the beans to her. I never really understood why exactly, but for some reason actors are always the last ones to find out what the upcoming episodes entail. I guess the writers don't want to hear from them until the draft is an official production draft, but I don't see the harm in letting them know the overall general story points.

By the time Morgan and Timothy were wrapped, I too was ready to go. It was late and we no longer had any actors and I was ready for bed. And then my phone started going off. Morgan was home now and texting me to tell me goodnight. She's such a doll. Tomorrow she leaves for a whirlwind trip to NY to do a photo shoot for a magazine and I think she's just a wee bit excited. I'm sure it will be an awesome experience for her and I can't wait to hear about it. Tonight Morgan also found out I'm pregnant again and was so excited for the news. I had to be the voice of reason and remind her it was still really, really early so let's just cross our fingers and hope that it all turns out well. She informed me (as so many other have too) that she just knew it was going to have a good outcome this time. I hope she's right. I hope everyone's right. I can't believe I have to wait until Aug 28th to find out if everything is okay. That's very far from now and it's hard to really get excited until I know that everything is progressing normally right now. First trimesters of any pregnancy are always hit or miss, but after losing a baby I feel an even greater sense of trepidation. I want to tell everyone but at the same time I want to keep it a secret. It's a strange paradox to be in. Most people are over the moon excited when they learn they are pregnant and often don't have a second thought about it. Those people haven't lost a baby. They haven't miscarried and they certainly didn't have a stillborn baby. I just pray that this pregnancy is a healthy and normal one so that I can get to experience the excitement of pregnancy again and ultimately the excitement of a healthy newborn baby.

50 Shades

Some days at work you just have to make your own excitement. Here we were filming in one of those locations that was fairly new, but has become old quick. There really are only so many ways you can film people sitting in front of monitors watching things. Fortunately, we weren't spending our entire day in this drab location. No, after we were done there we got to move outside and ride around on the process trailer all night. Oh boy! There's nothing more risky than doing process trailer work downtown on a night when the drunks are out.

And boy were they out! Two different times we were stopped dead in our tracks on the process trailer due to drunken people. The first time was a drunken brawl that apparently started outside a bar and made its way into the street, thus blocking the intersection. The cops were called as well as an ambulance. It took a good 15-20 minutes before the cops with us could get them to move and clear up the intersection so we could pass. Then, just as we thought we were nearing the end of our process trailer work - BAM! A drunk dude careened into our parked police car that was blocking off the intersection! Really? How stupid can you be? Fortunately, no one got hurt which was amazing to me as the sound from the wreck was jarring. The drunk guys' airbag deployed saving him from injury, but certainly not from jail time.

At least it was a memorable birthday for my friend Monica. Her 50th birthday, to be precise. Now Monica's husband Steve is my husband Marshall's boss. The two of them have worked together for over 20 years now. Steve was a groomsman in our wedding, in fact. He's one of Marshall's oldest and dearest friends. He was also the sound mixer Marshall was working for on Army Wives when Nolan died and Marshall had to leave in the middle of the night. Needless to say, Monica and Steve have a special place in our hearts. Monica herself can feel our pain. While she never loss a child the way we did, she did have a miscarriage but more importantly she lost her sister. Her sister died very unexpectedly in the Canary Islands where she lived. I am not sure exactly the time frame, but I believe it to have only been a couple of years ago. Her sister's death rocked Monica's world, much in the way Nolan's death turned ours upside down. Monica was one of the women that had come together and given us the birth weight pillow so that we could always remember what it was like to hold Nolan in our arms.

So, I thought it was only right that we did something special for Monica's 50th birthday. I had thought I would spend the past weekend shopping for the perfect gift, but my sickness had other plans for me. But not wanting to be empty handed today, I stopped by Barnes and Nobles last night after work to at least pick up a card. Then it dawned on me. I gave my cousin Sandra the book 50 Shades of Grey for her 50th birthday, why not do the same for Monica. It was perfect and funny and heck she might actually enjoy the eroticism of the book. Well, it proved to be a hit. Not only had she not read it, but she was intrigued by the hype surrounding it and wanted to indulge in it herself. Monica's fellow camera department members also did it up right for her birthday. They decorated the camera truck as well as the lunch box room in which we dine. There were 50th birthday balloons everywhere and a huge cake with 50 candles on it. It was fun to watch Monica enjoy her day. I mean who else gets a Hooter Hoister, cake, 50 Shades of Grey and a wreck all on their birthday?!

Lucky Charm

Today was a weird day indeed. What was a suspicion on Monday became a reality this morning when I peed on my second stick of the week and got that all too familiar plus sign. I've become quite the pro at peeing on sticks these days. For over a month I've been peeing on sticks trying to figure out my ovulation schedule since my cycle seems to be all over the place since I had Nolan. According to the ovulation tests, I have ovulated 3 separate times in the past month. Now we all know that can't possibly be true so I guess my body is still confused. Although I've had two regular periods since Nolan's birth, they have not been equal distance apart. That's all fine and good when I spent all my time at home, but I don't want my monthly visitor surprising me one day at work. Besides, since Marshall and I had decided to see if we could pregnant again, I figured monitoring these things would be helpful. By my latest calculations I should have started my period today. But that was accounting for an extremely long cycle, which I don't have. On Monday I couldn't stand the anticipation any more. I had to know. So I peed on a different stick and got a faint but ever present plus sign. Today for good measure I repeated the test with even more conclusive results. We are pregnant again!

As we discussed whether to tell anyone or not, it quickly became apparent to me that we must. We at least had to tell our family and friends that read this blog for if I was going to be accurate and truthful in my blog I couldn't hide this information. It would be like telling a story in which only the good parts are told and all the scary and bad ones are left out. At some point, I had to be honest to myself and I knew that meant writing about this pregnancy. That being said, we aren't under any delusions. It's very, very early on and anything can happen. So for now we are cautiously optimistic. I will make an appointment with my doctor for while I'm home on hiatus in August and hope that when we go we receive good news. After having a first term miscarriage that wasn't diagnosed until my 9 week appointment, I know that a plus sign on a pee stick doesn't mean anything. And after having a baby boy stillborn at week 34, I also know that even once you get past the first trimester with a healthy baby doesn't mean you will be leaving the hospital with one. But for now I'm excited. I feel as though my prayers have been answered. Every night since Nolan's death I have prayed to God for another chance. For a healthy baby this time. Right now it looks as though we might have been given that second chance - third really. Maybe third time really is a charm. If so this baby will always be my lucky charm. My little Irish lucky charm.

Basking in my excitement, it didn't phase me at all today at work when Claire brought up the string test to me. She had seen Morena and I doing it last year and she wanted it done on her before she went for her doctor's appointment next week. Fortunately, we work with wardrobe girls that always have needle and thread on hand and the props department was able to supply us with a number 2 pencil. After assembling the items together I let the pencil dangle above Claire's wrist as she sat anxiously awaiting the results. Our assembling of the items had peaked some curiosity of fellow cast and crew and we quickly had a group around us awaiting the results. For a long while the pencil just bobbed up and down, refusing to swing in either direction. But then it started to move. Back and forth down her arm it swung - a boy! Ironically, this is also what Claire feels as though she is having. For good measure we left the pencil continue to swing and after stopping for some time it then swung perpendicular to her wrist indicating a girl.

22 minutes

Today was one of those days at work where we do what's called block shooting to maximize our efficiency in shooting. So we combined about 6 scenes that totaled about 12 pages of dialogue and shot it all as one long continuous scene. Now normally the rule of thumb in film is that a page of dialogue equals about a minute of screen time. This is just an estimate as comedic dialogue is often quick paced while dramatic dialogue accounts for dramatic beats and pauses. But I don't think anyone could have imagined what combing those 12 pages would equal. 22 minutes. That's right. 12 pages of dialogue with 2 actors added up to 22 minutes per take! Over and over again today we shot those same 22 minutes. I felt a bit like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. After awhile it becomes the longest 22 minutes of your life. You could just see the life being sucked out of all the crew as they listened to it over and over and over again. It was unbelievably exhausting.

When we finally finished the 12 page scene and moved set there was an audible sigh of relief from both the cast and crew that the 22 minute repeat torture was over. Yes I know it will never play as one long scene and combined together it will never equal 22 minutes of screen time when it airs, but the 22 minutes that were devoted to each and every take was painful. It made the day seem to labor on. You almost expected that we should be going home once the 12 pages were finished, but no such luck. Nope we had to move sets and do another little scene with different actors. And to top it all off we were filming entirely on stage - the black hole of death. While I enjoy working on stage in some regards because it is climate controlled and convenient, in a lot of ways it is boring and depressing. Imagine working in a big warehouse with no windows. A warehouse in which you are only allowed to go outside for one hour in the middle of the day to eat lunch. The rest of the day you spend in a windowless room with no concept of the outside world. Is it still daylight? Is it raining?

But, there always seems to be something that happens on stage days to make the day enjoyable. One way or another we find a way to make each other laugh or to find comedy in our predicament. Today, I was rather amused by my new bookshelf in my office. Ross, our office PA, had asked construction to make me a two tiered bookshelf so I would have a place to stack the 12 script books from this season. Perhaps Ross should have been a bit more precise in his request. I did indeed receive a two tiered bookshelf. However, it was more the size of a nightstand than a bookshelf. My books wouldn't even fit standing up on the shelves and there was certainly no way 12 of them were going to fit. Ross apologized as he knew as soon as he saw the bookshelf that it was merely a comedy of errors and would in no way be of any use. Though it did become a rather great conversation piece as people filtered into the office to muse over it. So we decided we would keep it but hopefully also give it a larger partner as well.

Lightning

I finally started feeling a bit better today, like maybe this cold was finally on its way out of here. And then we had more car work to do. I am always prone to motion sickness so car work is my least favorite thing to do. Today's car work involved the actors and camera in the car, and the rest of us in follow van watching monitors that were receiving the wireless signal from the car. Great. Usually, it takes some time for my motion sickness to set in during these sort of scenarios so I was praying this car work would be short lived. Three people in a car and only two of them are talking - how long could this possibly take? Well, thankfully it didn't take long. We hadn't been in the car two minutes and a wave of nausea came over me. Oh God, now? Fortunately, I managed to ward off the vomiting, but continued to remain nauseous for some time even after I was out of the van. That's odd. Certainly not how my usual motion sickness occurs. Usually, within minutes of removing myself from the moving vehicle, my motion sickness has resolved itself.

But eventually the nausea passed and I soon forgot it. Especially, when no sooner were we inside the Duke Mansion but the bottom fell out. The wind was howling, the grounds were flooded, and lightning and thunder was cracking all around us. How lucky are we that we are filming inside now? Whew that was a close one. We had some down time while the actress was changed over, so I stepped out on the massive front porch of the Duke Mansion with several others and admired the downpour. You could hardly see the fountain out front for all the rain. This was one of those commonly talked about southern showers. They come in out of nowhere, dump buckets of rain on you in no time, and then are gone just as quickly as they came. Sure enough, by the time we were ready to shoot the rain had all but stopped and the thunder was no where to be found.

On the way home, I decided my appetite that had vanished for days was suddenly back. So I decided I would stop at Harris Teeter on the way home and pick up something quick to make for dinner and a few other items. The roads were still wet from the downpour, but the sun was still out and they were quickly drying. I enjoyed the daylight as it will most likely be the last I see of it all week as we will be working late into the night come Thursday and Friday. When I returned to the apartment I received what appears to be potentially good news. We will see if it all pans out or not. I hesitate to even admit it to myself in the fear of jinxing it. But as I sit and contemplate the news, I am reminded again of the artwork I saw weeks ago with the phrase, "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." I think I might just have to get that piece of artwork. It seems more and more prevalent to my life right now. This storm isn't going to just pass and if I wait for it to, I will be missing out on a whole lot of greatness. Just because I got struck by lightning once, I can't be afraid to whether the storm again. The odds are, lightning never strikes the same place twice.

Sick Days

There's nothing fun about sick days. Especially, when it's day three of being sick. After spending my entire Saturday sleeping on the couch and eating cough drops, I was determined to actually make it out of the house today. Unfortunately, my cold had other plans for me. I woke up just as stuffed up as yesterday with my throat slightly less on fire as it had been. I did eventually decide I was sick so I put on jeans and a T-shirt and rode the elevator down to Earthfare. The one great thing about my building - a grocery store right downstairs. I stocked up on canned soup, but decided I would get a bowl of their hot Tomato soup for now. I didn't feel quite as tired today as yesterday, so I came back up and ate my soup and indulged in one of those ridiculous reality TV shows. Yep, I turned on my computer and watched The Bachelorette. I figured, why not. After all, Emily was from North Carolina - Charlotte, in fact. It only seemed appropriate that while in Charlotte I watch her. So I spent a few hours of my afternoon nursing my cold with some tomato soup and The Bachelorette.

I finally mustered up enough strength to go to Cardio Funk class at 5:30 and had a very strange occurrence. As I was leaving the Y, this woman came up to me and asked if I was Kara. After I said yes, she told me her name was Bergen and we had worked together on One Tree Hill. Now she looked familiar and the name sounded familiar, but I really could quite place her. I did end up spending a few minutes talking to her and learned that she is still working in the business and has become a producer now. She told me she worked mostly on reality TV shows life Top Chef and some others she named but I can't remember. Why was she in Charlotte, I asked. She told me she was here getting a movie together to hopefully shoot in the fall. It sounded like a small, low budget indie film. Now I'm unclear if she works as a producer only on these small films and does something else entirely for reality shows, but it sounded like she was kept busy as she told me she had spent most of the year between NY and LA. Regardless, she seemed to remember me and gave me her info in the hopes that I would contact her and get together. Sure I will. You never know where a contact can lead you.

After my work out and shower I decided I had somewhat of an appetite back and wanted something more substantial than cough drops and tomato soup. I decided I would make one of my favorites that Stacey introduced me to - Steak and Fry Salad. I know, to a southerner this sounds a bit weird and I am usually not one to mix my foods this way. I am one of those people that believe your meat should not lie on top of your salad. But, I tried it for Stacey and loved it. Then again, I haven't had anything Stacey's made that wasn't awesome. Weeks ago I had made a huge container full of a homemade dressing Stacey gave me the recipe for and it just so happened to be the dressing she used for her steak and fry salad. While not as good as when she makes it, the salad turned out to be quite good and scarfed it down as if I hadn't eaten in days. Oh wait, I hadn't. It was indeed the most I had consumed since Thursday and the small salad quickly filled me up. I was amazed what a little bit of real food did to help me feel more human and less sick. Perhaps by tomorrow morning this sickness will be gone for good.