Nolan Eason

At 1:03AM on Friday, March 30, 2012 my first child was born - a son. We named him Nolan Eason. 21" long, 5lb 3oz. He was beautiful and perfect in every way, except that he was stillborn. As we searched for answers to his untimely death, we also searched for comfort. This blog was created as a way of working through my sorrow by trying to find something beautiful in the world each day. Hopefully, along the way it will help others to heal as well.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Night Shoots

Since we had a late call yesterday and again today, I was able to go over to the NoDa house today with Marshall and help him with a few things. I didn't get much sleep since it was after 6am by the time I got to bed but at least it is Friday. I helped Marshall cut some boards for baseboards in the house. Then we walked up to Solstice Tavern and had lunch before I had to leave for work. The one great thing about this neighborhood is that there are so many restaurants and shops within walking distance. Hopefully that will be a selling point for when we put the house on the market.

Tonight we were back at Rural Hill for another night of filming. Another all night shoot! These kill a pregnant woman! Heck I don't like them when I'm not pregnant. We were filming on the road for some dusk shots and I noticed we were right beside a very old cemetery. On the gate was a sign that read "Closed at Dark." Hmmm. Who would want to go there at night? Seemed like an ironic sign to me, but then again we are out in the country. Maybe they had weird people wanting to come out there at night and have seances and whatnot. I hope this is our last night shoot for awhile, as this was really draining on me. I could hardly make it home in the morning and crashed as soon as my head hit the pillow.


Thursday, September 13, 2012

Rural Hill

Today we were in Rural Hill filming for the first time ever. We are going to be back out here the next couple of nights. We didn't come to work until 5:30pm, so I full expect for us to see the sun rise on the way home in the morning. I hate working all night shoots. Especially when I'm pregnant. I'm still very much in the fatigued part of pregnancy so tonight and tomorrow are going to especially challenging for me. Not to mention that it is cold! The best thing about tonight was that they ended up putting video village in the sprinter van first thing for the car work we were doing and they never took it out. At least I got to ride around in a heated van all night which was good and bad. While I was warm and comfy, it also became increasingly hard to stay awake as it got later and later. Eventually, I caved in and hit the craft service table for a sugar pick me up. What I found was a glow in the dark lollipop! Oh what fun Halloween candy is. At least it made the night a little more interesting walking around with a lollipop whose stick glowed in the dark.


Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Downtown Dish

Today we were filming downtown so I was able to once again go out to lunch with Rob and Adam to our little Italian place we like. After lunch we moved to our firehouse set where we filmed in the back parking lot. Out in back we found a huge caterpillar chilling out there. I guess it's that time of the year when you start seeing them out everywhere. I've noticed everyone around here putting those bands around their trees to keep the canker worms from getting up in their trees. Fall is definitely here now that is for sure! Despite our really warm days every now in then, there is a definite chill in the air most days.

Today's call time was 7:30am and so we got off around 8pm. Since we were filming downtown I got off in time to meet Marshall at Dish for dinner since he was in Noda working on the house. I had my favorite chicken and dumplings and it was awesome! It makes such a difference to be able to have dinner with my husband at night.

5:30pm call tomorrow. Oy vey!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

9/11

Today is the infamous day - September 11th. The day America will always remember as the day the twin towers were hit. I feel sorry for the families that lost people that day. I don't know how they can ever move on and deal with their grief when every year on 9/11 they are forced to recount the senseless death of their loved ones by watching the horror played out again and again on the television and recounted in every newspaper and on every social media site there is. It's bad enough trying to just make it through every day without having to be constantly reminded of the loss you feel inside.

Today was also our first day back filming on Homeland. Fortunately for me we finished up filming at a church only a few miles from my apartment. Marshall and the dogs also got into town so I was able to have dinner with him after work. I was so glad to see them all. I had gotten used to seeing them all every day over the hiatus and I missed them terribly last night! So happy to have them here with me this week!

Monday, September 10, 2012

Halted Hiatus

Today is the last day of my hiatus. I packed up the car this morning and got everything ready to go. Before I left, Marshall and I went and grabbed lunch at Surfhouse. It was a beautiful day so we sat outside and enjoyed the weather. I almost wish it had been rainy or cold or something. It would have made it a lot easier to leave it wasn't such a nice day. I ran into another fellow crew member that was also leaving for Charlotte later this afternoon.

After lunch I headed out for Charlotte. As I watched Wilmington grow smaller and smaller in my rear view mirror, I grew sadder and sadder. It's hard leaving and heading back to work after being home for 2 weeks with my husband and dogs. My hope is that one day I won't have to leave my house for work. I want a job where I can stay in town and work and only leave town occasionally or for fun. I don't know if that will ever happen but with a baby on the way it makes me want it even more. I want to be able to work my baby to sleep every night in the recliner in our nursery. I want our baby to feel like our house is its home, not just a place we visit sometimes in between working out of town.

When I got into Charlotte, I stopped by the office to do some prep work. I said my hellos and quickly retreated back to my apartment, grabbing dinner on the way. I finished up some prep work back at the apartment and then tried to settle in for the night. It's hard to sleep in the apartment the first night back. It feels so quiet and lonely. Fortunately, Marshall and the dogs are heading up here tomorrow. I can't wait to see them! I miss them terribly already!




Sunday, September 9, 2012

Brunch Blues

Tomorrow I have to head back to Charlotte and back to work. Today was my last chance to see anyone before I left so Marshall and I went and had lunch with my Dad at Boca Bay. Probably my favorite brunch place it was as good as always. We spent a good while there eating and talking. Afterwards, it was time for me to face reality and start doing laundry and packing to head back to work. I even sat down and did some prep work for the next episode that starts this week. It sucked having to prepare to go back and made me sad to leave. Fortunately, Marshall will be coming up on Wednesday so I won't have to be alone in Charlotte too long by myself.

I did spend a good bit of time this afternoon hanging out with my dogs and husband outside in our gazebo. The weather was so nice and the laundry was going so it was a perfect opportunity to take advantage of our wonderful gazebo. I think the dogs rather enjoyed us hanging out there as they didn't feel like they were missing anything by staying outside without us.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

The Odd Life









Spent another beautiful day today at the beach. Marshall surfed and I tanned and read a book. Mostly I just enjoyed the fresh salt air and cool breeze. I dipped my toes in the surf and looked for shells. There is always something so refreshing and exfoliating about the beach. It was a relaxing day just hanging out with my husband.

This evening we went on date night - dinner and movie. We had both wanted to see The Odd Life of Timothy Green so that was the movie of choice tonight. I have to admit, I cried. It was perhaps an odd movie for us to chose to go see based on the subject matter and their inability to have a child hit home with both of us. Despite that, it was a good movie and I would like to see it again sometime down the road when Nolan's death isn't quite so fresh. I think the movie might have a different effect on me when I'm in a different mindset than I currently am.