I often wonder how any mother can lose their first born child and continue on never having another child. As I sit here with my 1 1/2 year old, knowing that I would still feel utterly lost and broken without him in my life. My friend told me after Nolan passed that the most healing thing would be to have another baby and she was so right. The last 19 months have brought me so much happiness that I sometimes forget to be sad. I never once forget that Nolan is not here and I miss him every second of every day but Ronan makes it all okay somehow. With every hug he gives me, every time he calls me Momma, my broken heart heals just a little bit more. 2 1/2 years ago my empty arms ached for a baby that I didn't get to take home with me. Now I get random hugs from Ronan and I love them all. It's as if he is showering me with extra hugs to make up for all the lost hugs from his older brother. I'm so blessed to have my rainbow baby in my life and a loving husband. Together we are healing as a family and remember our firstborn, Nolan.
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