A Photo is Worth a Thousand Words

It took me five months to do it, but today I finally looked at the pictures of Nolan the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep photographer took at the hospital. Marshall hadn't wanted to look at them so I hadn't been anxious to break them out either. I had thought we would look at them together, but I was finally ready and Marshall wasn't.


So, I sat back in my office, popped the CD in the computer and downloaded all the pictures onto the computer. I cried as I looked at all of them, one by one. There were pictures of our sweet boy all by himself, pictures of us holding him, and ones of him with his grandparents. The only one that had refused to hold him or have his picture taken with him had been Marshall's Dad. It was hard to look back on that day and remember that beautiful still face, but I think it was a necessary part of healing. I had been dreading looking at the pictures for so long thinking it would somehow taint the memory I had of Nolan, but it actually didn't at all. It just reaffirmed to me how sweet and beautiful he was. Far too beautiful for this earth.

Pampering

Today was an action packed day. In fact, I don't think I could have fit in any more excitement in the day. I definitely made the most of my last Thursday in Wilmington for awhile. I started the day out right by going to Zumba with Karson at Babs McDance. Nothing gets my day going quite like Zumba!

Afterwards, Marshall and I took my Dad out on the boat. He hadn't been out in awhile and Marshall thought my Dad was feeling a bit left out. I think my Dad thinks I do more with my Mom than I actually do. I love that my Dad is living in Wilmington now, but I almost feel like I have to babysit him more now that he does. He makes me feel bad when I don't do things with him. If I see anyone other Marshall a lot it would be the gals, not my Mom. My Mom works 5 days a week and rarely feels like doing anything after work. So my time spent with her is limited to weekends only or the occasional lunch date where she has only an hour to spare. My Dad, on the other hand, has too much time on his hands and not enough friends yet. I think things will be better with him once he can get his feet off the ground and starts making friends in Wilmington and stops relying on his friends in Fayetteville for his only fun. But today at least we spent some time with him. We took the boat out for a ride and went to the Fish Shack for lunch on the boat. We didn't stay out as long as we wanted as I had a massage appointment to get to.

I went for my first prenatal massage today and it was lovely. I now know why pregnant women rave about prenatal massages. There is so much going on with your body while you are pregnant - so many aches and pains and fatigue - that a good massage does wonders for you. I left there feeling rejuvenated and far less tight and achy. Today's pampering didn't stop there though. After I left my massage, I headed straight over to my hair stylist Laura's and had my hair cut. Even though I'm letting my hair grow out, I still enjoy getting my hair trimmed up and fixed. It always feels and looks so much better afterwards.

I had time after the hair cut to go home and hang out for a bit so Marshall and I went to the beach for an hour.  Marshall wanted to catch a few waves and I just sat on the beach and read. We left there and went straight to go meet Susan, Stacey and Brian for dinner at Flaming Amy's Bowl. It was a blast as always as they are some of the funniest people I know. We had a great time cutting up with them and after dinner we played around in Brian's new hybrid car.

Exhausted from my day of fun, I was happy to return to the house and hang out on the couch the rest of the night. Marshall and I turned on a movie and snuggled on the couch. It was a great way to end a fantastic day!

Sleeping In

This morning I indulged by sleeping in for as long as I wanted to without feeling the least bit guilty for it. Even once I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep, I just continued to lounge around in the bed for quite some time. It was so incredibly nice! The fatigue from pregnancy and work just finally got the best of me. It made me feel better when I sat up and noticed that both of my dogs were keeping me company laying beside my bed. It made me feel a little less lazy by having company sleeping in with me, even if the company was my dogs who sleep virtually all day anyway.

When I did finally decide to get up it was just in time to make it to Zumba again at Babs McDance. I feel like I'm on a roll now having gone to Zumba two days in a row. It certainly helped to get my day started off right and made me feel much more productive after having slept in late. Afterwards, I felt revived and ready to make the most of one of my last days at home for the hiatus. Good thing too because Marshall had made plans to meet Dino and his 10 month old son, Dylan at Barnes and Nobles for coffee.

B&N is our coffee spot. It's where we always meet Tina and Dino for coffee dates. We always joke when we go there that we will probably see Dino and 75% of the time we do. It's his home away from home. He can usually be found in the cafe drinking coffee and reading either a Christian philosophy book or parenting book. So I ran home and and showered and changed and off to B&N we went. Fortunately, it is only a few miles from our house so we didn't keep Dino and Dylan waiting long. Dylan was pretty good for most of the visit despite being a little stir crazy. I don't think Dino brought enough things to keep him occupied. When I held him, he was immediately intrigued by my necklace. Ever since I received it, I've been wearing Nolan's footprint and a silver key my Mom gave me in the hospital so that I would always remember that Nolan held the key to my heart.

Holding Dylan and watching him try his best to get his hands on the footprint pendant I remembered what Tifni had told me about hers. She said her youngest child Mallory always would rub the pendant whenever Tifni would hold her. Who knows Mallory might have rubbed it regardless of what it was, but maybe she rubbed it because it was her brother's footprint. I don't know why Dylan was so intrigued with Nolan's footprint pendant but I found it interesting that of all the jewelry I had on - earrings, rings, bracelet and necklace - that was the one thing he wanted desperately to get his hands on.

Even though he's only 10 months, I venture to say that Dylan is much bigger than most 10 months old. Not being an infant anymore, Marshall was willing to hold and play with him. Ever since Nolan passed away Marshall has been unwilling to hold or even touch an infant, regardless of who it is. He wouldn't hold Dylan until he was several months only and could sit up and hold his head up by himself. It was nice to see Marshall playing with and holding Dylan. Marshall still won't hold or touch Harper even though she's over a month old. Hopefully, once we have our baby in March and he holds our baby and takes the baby home his perception on infants will change. I think he just wants the next newborn he holds to be our own healthy baby.

After B&N, Marshall and I decided to head to Wrightsville Beach for some lunch. It wasn't a good boat day because it was too choppy from the storm coming in and it wasn't a great beach day due to the looming storm clouds. It was, however, a great day to sit out on Crystal Pier and eat lunch. So we headed down to The Oceanic for lunch and enjoyed the outdoors. We managed to make it through lunch on the pier before the rain started to fall. It was a wonderfully relaxing lunch as we watched the surfers try unsuccessfully to catch the storm surf. More than anything I was able to quench my craving of some pregnancy approved fish.

One of the things I've missed the most being in Charlotte is having time with my girl friends. When I'm home we all get together at least once a week. So tonight is the weekly get together to watch So You Think You Can Dance and eat some grub. I'm hosting it tonight, so Marshall and I had to go shopping to get some things to make dinner.

I decided on tater tot casserole because it is awesome and easy and everyone seems to like it. The original recipe I have calls for beef, but usually I make it with ground turkey instead. Tonight though Marshall decided he would rather have beef so we are changing it up. It ended up just being Susan and Shea tonight as Stacey was busy but it was still a great time. Even though this is definitely not the best season of SYTYCD it was still a fun evening with some great company. I sure am going to miss those girls when I go back to Charlotte.

11 Weeks - 2nd Ultrasound

This morning we had our 2nd ultrasound appointment, which is usually when most people have their first. I'm almost 11 weeks. I've been in anticipation of this appointment for weeks now. I felt as though if we got good news at this appointment then we could take a breath for a moment as we were probably in the clear of any first trimester worries. My first sigh of relief came when I saw the baby's image pop up on the TV mounted on the wall and saw the little flickering of the heartbeat. The baby's heartbeat was 158. Since we did genetic testing, they were also performing the ultrasound portion of the genetic testing today too. The ultrasound took longer because of this as the tech was trying to get a good look at everything about the baby. The spinal fluid looked good which was great news as abnormal spinal fluid can be a sign of Down's Syndrome or other chromosomal problems. All and all it was a great visit with some great news. I think it helped both Marshall and myself to see the baby and see that everything was going well so far. We know we have a long way to go, but each milestone needs to be celebrated. If I learned anything last time at all it was to cherish every moment and each and every time we get to see our baby because those moments are precious. Every kick and wiggle I will feel will be amazing and I will cherish each one as much as the next. In fact, I can't wait to start feeling the baby move so I can monitor the baby's activity myself.

I started the day on a high note with good news about the baby and I ended the night on a high note by going to Zumba class at Babs McDance with none other than my favorite instructor Karson. I'm really enjoying getting back into the swing of Zumba and I'm dreading heading back to work and not having the time for it. Between the long hours of work and the fatigue of pregnancy, I never have the time or energy for Zumba. But there's nothing better than just being able to come home and hang out on my own couch and play with my dogs. While this two week hiatus is great, it's also going to make it really hard to leave and go back to work at the end of it.

Sleepy Creek

Today we decided to make a day trip to visit some of my family in Goldsboro, NC. My Aunt Jo and Uncle Brooks live on a little lake called Sleepy Creek. It's a small manmade lake that is dug out from natural springs. My aunt and uncle have lived there my whole life and I love going out there. It's where my cousin Brent taught me how to ski and it's where I spent many summers swimming and playing with my cousins. Today was no different. We went over to my Aunt Jo's with Erika and my cousins Brent, Candie and their daughter Ashley all came over. Ashley's best friend Rylee and her parents and her brother Marshall came over too and one of the neighborhood girls that's Ashley and Rylee's age also came over. It ended up being quite the crowd hanging out on my aunt and uncle's pier.

Even my Uncle Brooks ventured out to the pier for a bit before retiring to his man shed. Last year my uncle had a gazebo built on the end of the pier for my aunt. Since the gazebo provides some shade, both my aunt and uncle are able to come out and enjoy everyone's company for longer periods of time. I think my aunt's gazebo has become highly coveted among the lake as now many of the neighbors also want to have one built.

We had a good time playing in the water and sunning on the deck. Marshall eventually tried wakeboarding after watching the girls do it. He got up one time for a split second and that was it. Eventually, he decided it was much harder than it originally looked and gave the girls props for being able to do it so well. My friend Kathy from Charlotte was also at Sleepy Creek as her parents have a summer house there. She and her oldest son Caleb and her mom came over on the boat to visit for a bit. I don't think I had seen Kathy's mom since I was in college so it was nice to visit with them for a bit.

After a fun day on the water we all worked up a pretty good appetite so Brent went and picked us all up some pizza which the kids devoured! I went inside and showered while we were waiting on the pizza so I was plum tired by the time the pizza arrived. It's funny how a shower can do that to you. You can be fine but as soon as you wash off the day and the sun, your sunburn will set in and so does the fatigue. Knowing we had an hour drive back home wasn't much more settling. As soon as we ate, we said our goodbyes and left. Erika left for Raleigh and we headed back home to Wilmington. I always enjoy the time we get to spend at the creek, I just wish it was much closer! The hour drive back home is always tiring but so worth it to spend time with my family.

Beach Brunch

This morning Marshall and I drove down to Carolina Beach to visit one of my good friends Dawn and her husband Eric. Last week Dawn had a double mastectomy as a preventive measure. Dawn's mother ended up passing away from breast cancer a year ago and ever since Dawn has been wanting to have this surgery. Even though she was pretty sore still and not able to move her arms very well, she looked great! We took her a box of chocolates and visited with them and Dawn's Dad for a bit until it was time for Dawn to eat and take her pills.

Since we were already down at the beach, my Mom and Erika decided to meet us down there for brunch at Havana's. Brunch ended up being much longer than any of had expected. We set outside on the covered porch and it started raining about halfway through brunch. So we just sat there and watched the rain and drank some coffee until it finally stopped raining.

We decided to chance it and go out to the beach despite the overcast weather and looming rain clouds. We parked at my Uncle Norwood's house and walked across the street to Carolina Beach. It ended up being a very pleasant afternoon. It was slightly cooler and not as sunny as yesterday, but that was probably a good thing as we all got some good sun yesterday.


For dinner Marshall grilled out chicken on our new grill and we had my Dad and Erika over. Dinner was delicious! I might have to convince Marshall to cook more often if it is going to turn out like that! We had a good time visiting with both of them and I'm glad my Dad and Erika got a chance to visit with one another as they don't see much of each other. I guess that's what happens when people get divorced. Erika is my cousin on my Mom's side so naturally when she comes into town she spends her time with my Mom and seeing us if we are around. It just worked out that she was in town for the whole weekend for it being Memorial Day weekend so she was able to get away and see my Dad for a bit. Things would be much easier for me all around if my parents weren't divorced, but given who my parents are I know they would be miserable together! It does make it difficult to try to space out my time evenly between my parents. It never fails one of them always feels slighted and I end up exhausted from trying to please everyone. Sometimes I just feel like not telling either of them when I come home so I can just hang out with my husband and not feel obligated to do anything with anyone. I know having a child is only going to complicate things because both of them are going to want to see the baby whenever we are in town and I guess I'm just going to have to figure it out when the time gets here. It will be a good problem to have and I will gladly worry about how to appease all the grandparents when the baby gets here.

Fun and Sun

I started this weekend off right with going to Zumba class this morning at Babs McDance with my favorite instructor Karson. It feels so good to work out again. I miss it. It's amazing how much better your whole body and spirit feel when you do a little exercise. In Zumba I always feel as though all the negativity and toxins in my body are draining right out of me with all the sweat, leaving me feeling revived and healthier afterwards.

After showering and changing, Mom and my cousin Erika came over and we all went to Fish Shack to grab some lunch. We set outside and enjoyed watching the boats go by in the intracoastal waterway. I had my favorite - pulled chicken nachos! Yum! The weather had been a little cloudy but it quickly cleared up as we sat and ate. So we rode on over to the marina and took the boat out for a ride. We ended up docking it at Masonboro, blew up the floats Marshall had received for his birthday and hung out for the afternoon. We just floated around in the water and walked on the beach. We found a bunch of shells, but Erika found the best one of all. She found a HUGE clam still alive. We ended up throwing it back in the water but it was super cool.

Eventually, we deflated the floats and headed back in. It was a great day hanging out with family but we were exhausted. It was all I could do to go home, take a shower and lounge on the couch the rest of the night. Fun in the sun and water really does take it out of you but it was so nice to be able to be home at the beach and enjoy part of the summer. After being stuck in Charlotte all summer, it makes me really value my time at home and at the beach.